Went for FUNORAMA today, despite the odds.

It was funn. :] I'm happy I went, even though I had so many doubts before going. When Jade and I walked in, we were like, whoa. The whole place was pacckkedd. So yeah, I went with Jade, met Sherman, Cara, Joanna, Hannah, Jaime, Michelle, Andre, Yiying, Marie, Lydia, Ryan, Aaron, Lynna, Avril and Yiting, among other people. They were wonderful. (:

Haha, a friend bought me the funorama shirt, and my bro got his for $9, the usual price being $15. Yiying, Marie, Michelle, my bro and I are gonna wear it to church tomorrow. I got a bear! *Cheers* I love soft toys. Oh, and Lydia's friend treated us to a milkshake. It was waay yummyy. Haha. I didn't go into the haunted house, but people I met told me it was freaaky. I preferred to listen to the live band and pig out. We were quite disappointed when the prices didn't really drop after 6. Haha, it dropped more the year before.

Kudos to my brother, for helping me carry my bag, for providing the tickets and for being so wonderful.

Cause I could never call you mine,
cause I could never call myself yours.
And if we were really meant to be,
then time will work its way.
And if it's really meant tobe,
this will work out someday.
---

Today was alright, it's just tonight that's not. I don't know why, but I feel I've been disillusioned. Maybe it's paranoia, or the fact that I'm really shagged, but I'm not a nice person to talk to now. Campaigning is taking quite a bit from me. Time with friends, time for myself, time for school work, time for dance. All for the sake of getting in. Please, people, vote for me.

As the anger ebbs away,
I have less and less to say.
As our love disappears,
So do our tears.

If you love someone, let them go.
If they return to you, it was meant to be.
If they don’t, their love was never yours to begin with.
---

Tonight, the stars hide behind the clouds of our confusion,
The skies have run out of tears.
I ran at 10pm just now, because I wanted the ache in my heart to spread and engulf my physical being so I’d be distracted. Or at least run until everything outside hurts so much I get distracted from the pain inside.
I ran, but every step grew heavier and heavier. I couldn’t break free.
No, I won’t think tonight, because I’m so afraid of what I’ll do to myself when I’m alone.

Fly,
Perhaps it was never meant to be.
(& I still hold on to promises, and I just know.)

I broke a mirror today,
But my heart shattered some time ago.

The musical was wonderful. Even though we put a lot into this musical, it was all worth it. Doesn’t matter how many people turned up, doesn’t matter what was written on the response forms. No, not really. It was such a privilege to share what we believe. I’m so glad that we managed to touch our lives, but yes, we do all things through Christ. Without Him, nothing is possible. I know that it isn’t our job to change hearts, because that’s impossible. Only God can do that; and He does every day.

Yesterday was rather bad. Thank you to everyone who came up to me to tell me that it was alright. Yes, He sees the heart, not just what’s outside. I was so tired, but again, I have to remember who I’m doing these things for. It’s not for me. I do this in the service of God, praying that I may bring glory to His name.

I am not perfect; in fact, I’m really far from it. By His grace, I am growing every day. I’m becoming stronger and better. This is who I am: me. I sincerely try to better myself, I sincerely try to change. I just need some understanding and patience? The Father will deal with me in His good timing. I won’t try to say that I’m a good Christian, for I am so small and so imperfect. In time, you’ll see. God will change me and make me beautiful, in His sight.

Sometimes I think that I’ll get too used to pretending that everything’s alright. I’m afraid that I’ll get too used to pushing everything into my subconscious, forgetting the bad things I’ve gone through. I don’t want to forget you, so I’m afraid. You will fade, without me consciously doing anything. It’s self-preservation. So decide, and stay true to your decision.

Thank you to the girls for the daisy (which I thought was a sunflower), Amanda and Shona, for the chocolates. Thank you to Wenjia, Janice and Qiu for making it on Saturday. It really means alot to me.

---
Yeah we've had our ups and down
But we've always worked them out
Am I ever glad we've got this far now
Still I'm lyin here tonight
Wishin I was by your side
Cuz when I'm not there enough
Nothing feels right
So I'm coming back to show you that
I'll love you the rest of my life

So today at 9am, I realised that my costume wasn’t dry. It was still hanging outside, obviously miserably damp because of the rain. I had to leave, so I got my poor maid to dry it for me. She’s good, really. Later, I met Yiying, Samantha, David, Julian, Timothy and Eric for Step up 2 at 10am.

IT WAS AWESOMEEE.
I felt like dancing and dancing throughout the movie and I was squealing the whole time. Friends were probably amused. I was quite high after the movie. :] Imma so watch it again. And again, and again, and again. I won’t take up break dancing though. Hah.

Thank you to Daniel, Kallyn, Wenloong and Yx for turning up for the musical. It really means a lot to me. All of yall rushed down to watch it. Wenloong says that it’s the bestest musical he ever watched. ((: I’m glad the musical was a success, I’m so thankful that God touched people’s hearts today. Can’t wait for tomorrow’s performances!

Backstage is wunnerful. Everyone was happy and encouraging, and I really felt at home there. Thought about a few things too, since I tend to think a lot when it’s dark and quiet(-ish). So yeah, please do come for the performances tomorrow! Thank you Qiulin and Janice for promising to come!

I'm free til 6pm today, cos dance camp was sorta cancelled. Everyone left at 8pm, (I left at 7pm because I had to rush off for rehearsals at plmgs.) Shiwei's choreo was so so good! (I mean, as usual.) Haha, and the tutting was really fun to learn. So yeah, I woke up at 2pm today. My maid woke me up threatening to make me cook my own lunch. I got to rest today, for real. Yay (:




Pictures taken on Monday. I love you guys! We should really go out more often. Thank you so much for the time we shared. Credits to Huixian for the pictures. I didn't dare take any; felt really unglam, somehow. Haha, how un-bimbo. Alright, now I feel as if I'm talking to myself.

*silence*

Uhm, yeah, okay, I think I should go eat my spaghetti and leave for plmgs soon. I'll be back home at 11pm, I think. I hope tomorrow goes as planned. Haha, cheers!

I'm so sorry, totally know I haven't been updating. Promise I have very valid reasons. I haven’t been home much lately. :/

Anyway, most of you must know that I had my Ass week last week. Did I study? Yeah! I diddd. So proud of myself, I tell you. Haha. Nah, I slept more than I studied. For most of the days, I got home around lunch time. After having lunch, I’ll collapse on my bed and sleep for a good 4 hours. When I wake up it’s time for dinner and I’ll only start studying at 8. Plus, I only started studying on Thursday. Oh, whatever. I hope I don’t die.

Friday was alright. Qiu, RJ, Serene and I walked over to Cara’s house for abit. We walked for like, half an hour. >: ( Haha, so we checked the newspapers and decided to watch step up 2. It was supposed to start at 11:55, so we made it just in time. But you know, being as blur as we are, we saw the wrong timing. Sigh, it was at 11:55pm, not 11:55am. So we just lazed and walked around til 1:30pm, when we met up with the rest of the class for lunch at seoul garden. Shall not describe the crusty oil I saw on the hot plate. *winces* at 3:10, Janice and I met Erika and we rushed to school for dance. It ended at 7-ish, so I rushed over to Covenant Presbyterian Church for a talk on leadership. Reached home at 12, slept at 1:30am.

Saturday. Woke up at 7am, rushed for Peter Gn which started at 8am, ended at around 2pm. Went home for abit, then left for huixian’s house to stayover. Woke up the next day for church, had an interview with the elders/leaders of the church, then rushed off for musical rehearsals. Rehearsals started at 2pm and ended at 10:30pm. Was supposed to go to Erika’s house for a stayover to celebrate Janice and Sophia’s birthday, but got screamed at just for suggesting it. Sorry, dears. No, I’m not very tired now. *smiles*

Tomorrow, at 9:30am, I’ll be having Chinese tution. At 11/12 or so, I’ll be meeting the ip2 dancers to celebrate Janice and Sophia’s birthday. Leaving them at 1pm to meet Amanda, Huixian and Shona at cine to watch the leap years. When the movie ends, we’ll cross over to heeren for sushi. Then I’m off for Mr Gn which starts at 6pm and ends at 9pm.

An exhausted kara will then proceed to die on her bed. At 8:30am on tuesday, I’ll be awake so I’ll be able to go for dance camp at 10am. At 5 or so, I’ll leave for PLMGS for more musical full dress rehearsals. That’ll probably end at 10pm. Then I’ll go home, wake up early, repeat cycle for Wednesday.

Story of my life.

Anyway, I’ll be participating in a musical put up by my church on Friday and Saturday. It starts at 7:45pm on Friday, dinner’s provided at 6:30. On Saturday, there’ll be 2 performances: one at 2:30pm and one at 7:45 pm. Tea will be provided after the 2:30pm one and dinner will be provided at 6:30pm for the 7:45pm one. It’ll be held in Payar Lebar Methodist Girls’ School. Please please please come? Tell me if you can confirm that you’ll come, okay?

I’ll update more once I have the time. Cheerios!