I have a few things to blog about. Not much, since I'm in a decidedly bad mood.

1. I'm in pain, again, and I swear I'm getting so annoyed with it. (Although it really scares me.) I think I won't go to school tomorrow. Need to rest and catch up on stuff. Don't think I'll be able to get up from bed tomorrow morning anyway. No, really. I hate this. I couldn't dance properly yesterday because of it, and yall dancers out there, y'know how helpless it makes us feel. Argh. Oh, yes, thank you new exco + Jade, Erika and Janice for being so concerned and caring.

2. I feel quite alone now, but I sort'uv like it. It's like, quite peaceful-quiet-ish. I'm not lonely, just too cught up with thinking to bother. I'll stick to my real friends, I really don't have to try to please everybody. I'm actually learning how to be more comfortable around myself. Quite useful. 

3. I had 20 durian seeds on Sunday, 13 on Monday and 6 yesterday. Durian season, durian craze. It's this really cool un-urban thing my family does every year. My mum declared that my husband should not only be a dancing doctor, but a dancing doctor who eats durians. There's something fishy about the D's. 

4. I think I've sealed my heart somewhere. It's strange, but I don't feel very strong emotions now. Must be part of the process? Idk, I've been rather mood-swingish lately though. Very volatile. I have random "I-don't-like-you" moods. Haha, no worries, I get over it before nightfall.

The end. Maybe I'll blog tomorrow about other random things.

I could make insane-sounding poems too.
But no, I move forward.
And I know who my real friends are,
And I know why I hate the person I do.
I will forget your name,
I will forget your name.

The sky bleeds mascara black as I sit here, realising what I've done.
I dare not speak, I dare not read, I merely sit.
You were my medicine,
The only threads that kept my heart from falling into pieces,
but as I exploded, I left you behind.
Things I should've told you a month ago, a year ago,
They laugh as if knowing all along,
How much pain they would cause.
My mind screams innocence,
But my heart retracts
Into a tiny ball of regret.
Why should I be able to smile?
It's my fault, mine, and I caused the pain.
When the poison causes my heart to stop,
I shall sigh,
"I am not dead."

You look well,
Thank you.

Insignificant things seem more
My life has been rather
I wish I could just
It's stupid how I wish
You don't seem to
My friends look at me strange now that we've
I spend all my time trying to distract myself from

I can't blog.