I can’t find the words to say, the right lines to explain what happened. You don’t even know what happened, you don’t even care. You didn’t even want to listen, to believe, to understand what really happened. So you come up with a blog post. Thank you, really, for telling me how you see it.

Well, the truth is that I’m not laughing. You assumed that. Why do you make yourself believe such things? Do you think I’m happy now? That I’ve just moved on? No, that line wasn’t for me, idiot. It was for you.

It is all my fault. Have you heard me denying it? It is my mistake, another wrong I’ve done, another knife I’ve pierced into your heart. But you never gave me the chance. You don’t give a damn about what went through my mind, do you? You just see what I’ve done and take it as empirical evidence to believe that I did this in order to hurt you.

I never promised you anything, and I, did, not, lie. I am not ready for a boyfriend. Stop making it seem as if I’ve betrayed you.

Look, I am not yours and you are not mine. What is there to be committed to? Have I cheated on you? The truth is, you have to accept that I have my own life. I don’t bloody care about my face. I’m done worrying about that. No, believe it or not, reputation doesn’t bug me as much as it did. What the hell, what face is there to save anyway? The whole world was there to watch, just like you said.

And you really truly believe that I’m not hurt? That I just went on with my life? Bloody hell, you don’t see me at all. You don’t see me at night, you don’t see me in church; you don’t see me when my heart shatters. You don’t hear the things I say to my friends, you don’t see my friends getting so afraid of watching their friend breaking. You don’t care. If you did, you could’ve asked Cara, or Janice, even. Or maybe sometimes actually read my posts.

You must hate me. I never should’ve done that. You probably think I’ve been doing this all along. Well, I can’t defend myself. Sometimes I wish you never met me. I wish I could reverse time, throw on the “totally dedicated to being single” shirt and sit at home.

I’m not good for you, you know.

/edit;
I remember that promise, I'm sorry.
& If you cared you would've given me the opportunity to talk to you.