Do you ever feel alone?
Despite all the friends you have, despite the lover, despite yourself.
Today, for no reason at all, I felt alone.
The laughter wasn't within my wave length, everyone seemed so far away.
I was confused.
Apprehensive about the people I'm close to, and all.
It's not like I've never felt this way before, but today was the first painful day I've had in months.
(I'm referring to emotions.)
Perhaps school just wears me down.
Perhaps it's just the hormones.
Maybe I'm just having a bad day.
I brush it off and tell myself it doesn't really matter,
That I really am loved,
But I know that I neeed to be needed.
I know that I need attention, security, comfort.
A hug,
An "I love you,"
Something.
It's me, and I know.
I'm not independent;
Who am I kidding?
The only problem is who I'm relying on.
I hate feeling insecure, I hate feeling unloved, I hate feeling alone.
I wanna be happy all the time, be a source of comfort, a listening ear, an understanding friend.
I hate being weak, I do.
I want to be strong, to depend on God all the time,
To love.
Yeah, I know,
What am I doing about it?
I'm praying. I'll be who I wanna be.
I'll be loved for who I am, and not something else.

One day.